


August

by PurrsephoneQuinn27, sl_hogwartsalumni



Series: BAEs & HIMBOs [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25623133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrsephoneQuinn27/pseuds/PurrsephoneQuinn27, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sl_hogwartsalumni/pseuds/sl_hogwartsalumni
Summary: Rafael Barba and Frederick Chilton are one and the same complicated man: Dr. Frederick Rafael Barba Chilton, former psychologist / hospital administrator and current NYC lawyer and author.This started as a gift for @PurrsephoneQuinn27 and then took a life of its own, a very angsty lifeInspired by the lyrics toaugustby Taylor Swift
Relationships: Rafael Barba & Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Series: BAEs & HIMBOs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857352
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	August

**Author's Note:**

> Rafael Barba and Frederick Chilton are one and the same complicated man: Dr. Frederick Rafael Barba Chilton, former psychologist / hospital administrator and current NYC lawyer and author.
> 
> This started as a gift for @PurrsephoneQuinn27 and then took a life of its own, a very angsty life
> 
> Inspired by the lyrics to _august _by Taylor Swift__

_But I can see us lost in the memory  
August slipped away into a moment in time  
'Cause it was never mine  
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets  
August sipped away like a bottle of wine  
'Cause you were never mine ___

__“The beach cottage used to be my favorite place to go in the summer, my sisters and I would run amok up and down the beach until we either looked like a pack of lobsters or Ma called us in for the night,” Sonny said as they walked up to the door. He glanced over at Rafael, who had been intently listening to Sonny talk for the past hour as they had driven out of the city that evening to this quiet town on Long Island, with a look on his face that subconsciously betrayed deeper emotions._ _

__Sonny pulled out an old key and unlocked the door, the hinges rusty from the decades of salt air. “Welcome to the greatest place on earth.” Rafael walled in ahead of him with his weekend bag over his shoulder, taking in the different faded colors of the planks of the walls that the Carisi kids had painted over the years and then the expansive view of the beach, solidifying to Sonny what he knew- that this was THE place, the only place that he would have enough courage to finally say it out loud : I love you, Rafael._ _

__But that was saved for the last day of this long weekend they had earned, Sonny had planned for everything but that didn’t stop the anxiety eating away at his stomach. “You sure the DA said this was okay? For you to take a long weekend?” Rafael turned back to look at him, a smile playing on his face. “After that last case, never have I ever before been more sure that a break was earned.”_ _

__//////////////_ _

__Rafael could literally see Sonny relax the longer they had been at the cottage. He had woken up to the smell of waffles and the beautiful sight of Sonny humming to himself as he went about making breakfast in only his boxers, a soft sea breeze coming through the windows that seemed to always be open even though Rafael was sure that he had closed them before curling up on the couch for the night, specifically resisting the temptation to share a bed with Sonny as the only bed long enough was his parents bed._ _

__Sonny explaining sheepishly that they hadn’t spent more than a day trip here since he was young. ‘And short,’ Rafael has muttered sarcastically which had granted him an eye roll in response. He had firmly put his foot down on bed sharing explaining that it was because that bed was the Carisi parents’ bed when really Rafa knew deep down that he would lose all self control in the middle of the night and neither one should have ended up clothed by morning, only covered in each other and tangled in the sheets._ _

__Rafael made sure that they spent the rest of the day outside on the beach, always having to put sunscreen on Sonny because the man could never reach the whitest parts of his back. He did however, write ‘Barba was here’ in fancy cursive on his back as Sonny took a nap on the beach, looking more at peace and beautiful than anyone had the right to look. He wiped it away before it could become a temporary tattoo though, because Rafa knew he was head over heels in love with the wannabe lawyer and that scared the shit out of him._ _

__More than when Gideon had played Operation on him (He had convinced Sonny that the tshirt he kept on even in the water saved him from getting blistering sunburn) or when he had woken up in the hospital after being shot in the face (His teeth implants and steel plate were going to become surgically implanted when they did his eye replacement surgery in six months so he made sure that no one ever saw him without them in, even when sleeping, and he had convinced the detectives in SVU that the scar was from a BB Gun as a kid). These changes were all for the better and had certainly been a bit vain on his part, but the doctors assured him that they were all necessary to get to that better quality of life that he wanted to achieve. That would make him look and feel less broken. Mason hadn’t cared but then again, Mason had only been interested in himself and Rafael had only been a stepping block for his eventual downfall, doom, and death._ _

__Sonny had stirred and rolled over to lean on Rafael’s leg at this point, and Rafael was too weak to keep himself from running his fingers through the man’s hair, earning him an appreciative hum. He had opened up his sea blue eyes at this point to look into Rafael’s sky blue ones, and Rafael was positive that the look that passed between them was illegal in regards to coworker and friendship laws. “So Fordham Law, it’s the last few days of August and the semester starts next week, gonna call me every time you have a quiz or a test, panicking and dragging me to an all-night Starbucks to help you cram?” Sonny had snorted in amusement, the vibration of his laugh warming Rafael’s soul and breaking his heart, because he’d seen how close Sonny and Rollins were and how Sonny had asked her out more than once, confirming that this was an unrequited love. Rafael knew that soon this would be too much for him to bear anymore._ _

__///////////////_ _

__“Cancelled plans with coworkers to wait around by the phone, random texts back and forth with messages that only the two of them understood like ‘meet me behind the mall’ or ‘get in the car’, are we watching a romcom, a spy film, or some weird mix of both,” Rafael had asked him around a mouthful of popcorn, looking at the screen that was playing some cheesy movie, drinking the last of the wine that had made them both feel comfortably sleepy._ _

__“No idea, but my sister Gina loved it,” he had said, shrugging. Ever since his nap on the beach, where he had woken up with his head in Rafael’s lap, Sonny had been plagued with this doubt that something was wrong. There was a sadness in Rafael’s eyes when he didn’t think Sonny was looking and Sonny wasn’t sure what it meant except a nagging feeling that whatever it was, it had to do with him. Sonny kept kicking that doubt out but it kept returning with friends. Was Rafael regretting saying he would spend the whole weekend here? Was he missing seeing someone, like Olivia who called him Rafa and would go get coffee with him in the mornings? Was he missing his previous life in Maryland? Or was it worse: was he regretting being here because he knew Sonny loved him and he didn’t feel that way and there would never be a ‘we’ or ‘us’, just ‘he’ and ‘him’? That last doubt plagued Sonny until he fell asleep that night on the couch, his head on Rafael’s shoulder. ‘I wish Rafael was my Rafa,’ he thought before unconsciousness took hold._ _

__/////////////_ _

__A soft buzzing coming from his hoodie woke Rafael, still sitting on the couch with a softly snoring Sonny resting against his shoulder. It took all of his willpower not to kiss the top of his head and careful not to wake him, he took out his phone and saw a name he hadn’t seen in three years: Jack Crawford.  
“Hello?”  
“Sorry to wake you Chilton but I wanted to let you know that Lecter is finally ready to break his silence and be interviewed. He wants Graham but Will refuses, won’t even take my calls, so it’s up to you to tell the world about Hannibal Lecter. What do you say?”  
“I’ll be there by 9, bring coffee.”  
Rafael realized after hanging up that he had fallen into autopilot at the thought of Hannibal, completely forgetting that Sonny was using him as a glorified pillow. He knew this would be for the best: cold turkey, a clean break from the addiction that was Dominick Carisi. Writing a note that said ‘I’m sorry’ and tucking it into the pocket of his sweat pants, Rafael slipped out the door to call an Uber, turning to take one last look and whisper at the long soft frame of Sonny now burrito-ed into the blanket on the couch: “ I love you Dominick Carisi and fervently wish you were mine to keep forever.”_ _


End file.
